Ailis in Hunterland

Serious post time.  For those of you who don’t want to read while I work things out on paper, click on any one of the fantastic blogs in my blogroll.  Even if you do read this, click on them anyway – they are there because you should read them.

Drama, in some form, is inevitable in any group where various personalities come into play.  Guilds in WoW stress “drama free” on all of their websites and some even have a “zero tolerance” drama policy.  Yet, drama springs up both big and small.  Small drama is usually easily dealt with through a discreet conversation.  Big drama has the potential to rip guilds apart depending on the reason, source, and number involved.

My husband and I recently left our guild because of big drama.  I won’t go into the details but, suffice to say, it was a painful decision to make.  We both agonized over the decision for days, holding out hope that something would come up that would help us and everyone involved fix the situation and move on peacefully.  Unfortunately, that was never the case so, after long talks with each other, weighing the pros and cons and speaking with several good friends in the game, we made the decision to quietly leave when there were the fewest number of people online.  We realized, after examining the whole situation, there was very little we could do to save the situation.  Things were said and things were done that could never be taken back and left permanent marks on various relationships.  I’m sure several thought we just gave up and ran and that’s their conclusion to come to; however, there is only so much game-related stress one can handle before it becomes not worth it anymore.

There’s been a significant feeling of loss since then.  I feel like I packed my bags and left my home, never to return.  I made some very real friends in that guild and learned the most about the game, my character and raiding in that guild.  A large part of the fun of playing was the chemistry and relationships I forged and all of that is pretty much gone.  I miss them horribly.

A friend of ours from another guild found out what happened and immediately spoke to his GM.  We were given a new place to reside.  I still feel out of place and I know that is all due to my not knowing anyone and going from the “top” (officer, class leader, raid leader, friend, sounding board, one of the top dps) to the “bottom” (stranger, new kid, one of the lower on the meters).  The people in the new guild seem very nice and very close knit.  I know it will just take time for them to get to know me and vice versa.  Their style of raiding is different from what I’m used to; their scheduling and group makeups are a little different, but that would be foolish for me to expect any guild to be the same as the one I left.

Right now, in the midst of it all, I feel like I’m just licking my wounds and trying to find what made this game fun before the guilds.

This isn’t meant as a QQ post.  I am not out for anyone to feel sorry for me.  This is more of my way of getting things out of my head and my heart and onto paper.  I’m not quitting the game or raiding or Ailis.  I just feel I’m at a crossroads of sorts and need to sit here for a minute and sort through everything.

To my new guildies, thank you for giving us a place in your guild.  We both really look forward to getting to know you and, hopefully, continuing to grow with you.  Please be patient with us as we try to find where we fit.

To my old guildies, I miss you.